It’s a hard day.  Eleven years ago the gunfire started in earnest. Now it continues in Nairobi.

So many milestones of tragedy, loss, and grief are piled into this week.  Now there are more.  This time they aren’t mine, but ones of people I love.  This third week in September seems doomed to hold too much loss across a great continent.

The story of 2013’s grief isn’t finished yet.  It’s not mine to tell at this point.  Those who are living it need to process it in their own time and own way.  I’ll just say some of the pictures that you’ve seen have images of friends in them.

Sunday we sang this Matt Redman song.  The lyrics are powerfully true.  Never once in Bouake or Nairobi was there a solitary step.  From divine deflecting of bullets, grenades, and shells to blinded eyes to text messages with just the right wording at the right time God was there every step of the way.

Why some in Nairobi perished and some escaped, I don’t know.  I do know they weren’t alone for a nanosecond no matter how long the span of their life.  I don’t understand what seems senseless.  I don’t understand all that seems lovingly orchestrated in the midst of chaos.  I’ve given up needing to make sense of it . . . at least for the moment.  I’m sure I’ll struggle with understanding another day.

Right now, I just hold onto the fact that God doesn’t abandon me.  I grasp the knowledge that he supernaturally intervenes in our fallen mess.  I lean into the assurance that never once did he walk away. Not in Bouake eleven years ago.  Not in Nairobi this week.  Never once.

 photo courtesy of Trading Hope