On My Own

tip toesSix weeks flew by faster than I imagined.  Six weeks, 12 visits, and I’m done with the formal stuff.  Formal physical therapy has ended, and I’m on my own.

I started out in better shape than anyone expected—at least two weeks ahead of where most people with my injury and surgery would be.  I ended my PT sessions about the same 2 weeks ahead of where most people would be.  In fact, I was doing so well at my next to the last session we pushed things a little far.  I spent the next two days experiencing great pain whenever my foot contacted a hard surface like the floor.

When I started PT six weeks ago, I needed a crutch to get around.  That’s no longer the case.  I limped.  My gait isn’t completely normal, but it’s getting there most days.  I couldn’t stand up in the shower; I’ve only used the shower bench for a seat once in the last few weeks. I can go up steps normally, and often I can go down them fairly normally.  I feel more secure if there’s a railing when I’m descending the staircase.  That sure beats all the crawling up the stairs and bumping down them I did before PT. My feet aren’t glued to the floor—I can stand on tip toes or rock back on my heels.  In fact, I can do it 30 times in a row if you need me to.

I’ve done physical therapy before.  It was helpful, but not extremely so.  Working with Kevin and Elizabeth at Above It All Physical Therapy was a gift to my healing process.  They made what might seem ridiculous fun and healing.  The whole atmosphere is relaxed, friendly, helpful and fun.  If I ever need PT again, I’ll argue if a doctor wants to send me somewhere else.

I’m excited about the progress I’ve made, but I’m also afraid.  I’m afraid I won’t do my exercises.  I’m afraid this is as good as it gets.  I’m nervous that my left calf won’t regain it’s strength and muscle tone.  I wonder if I’ll be able to keep up this summer.  I’m so tired of the one pair of shoes that I’m allowed to wear, but afraid to try different ones.  What if they’re not supportive enough?  What if I hurt myself again?

I don’t want to live in the land of what ifs.  I want to get stronger.  I want to be healthy.  I want to walk as normally as I ever have.  I want to wear different shoes—lots of different shoes.  I want to wear something besides jeans because they’re the only things that go with the shoes I can wear.

Even though I’m on my own, I’m going to do my exercises.  When they’re too easy, I’m going to do some research and see what I can add to them.  I’m going to get stronger.  I’m going to get healthier.  I’m going to wear more than one pair of shoes.  I’m going to keep up this summer.  As much as it depends on me, I’m going for it.

If you happen to see me, ask if I’m sticking to it.  If I’m sheepish about it, ask why I’m not following through with what I know I should do. If I show you how I can stand on my tiptoes on just my left foot, applaud that accomplishment.  (Don’t ask to see that yet—it’s still a lofty goal!)

What about you?  Where do you feel like your on your own?  What can I ask you about?

photo courtesy of Wenzday01

11 responses to “On My Own”

  1. Yay! So happy for you! : ) Keep on keeping on! Sarah and I are excited to give you some walking time at the Container Store on Friday! And, I need lots of Sheryl wisdom with my new MOPS role. Feeling way too “underdeveloped” for this task but trusting God to make me strong where I need to and get support where I’m still weak.

  2. I love this! I am so glad you can see improvement and I am so proud of you for wanting more. 🙂 I feel like the Lord is asking me to trust Him with my heart. Oh ugh. It is so scary and raw and open. I would rather close it up and run away. And then He gently asks me “Sarah, how has that worked for you in the past?” So, I am trusting that if I open up to Him, He will show me more. And that’s what I want, more of Him, more of who I am supposed to be and more freedom to live the life He gave me.

    Holy cow, that was deep for a Monday morning. 🙂

    Love you.

  3. Tirzah—I’m all about Container Store PT! Looking forward to spending some time together.

    Sarah—I’m looking forward to whatever day we finally get to sit and talk to each other face to face. That will be a fine day! I want to hear more about what God’s doing with your heart. And yes, that was rather deep for any morning. Love you back.

    Mallory—Thanks for the vote of confidence. Feel free to nag me about PT exercises.

  4. Thanks, Shelley and Allie! I’ve got a good start . . . now if I can just keep it up, Persevere is my word for the year. 🙂 Love you both!

  5. Oh Sheryl, I miss you! I am sorry that you have to go through this but I am confident that what is begun in you will be completed! I am coming to PFO this summer in Houghton just to meet our new dorm assistant and our dorm replacements. Hopefully we will see you too? And I will see if you can step on your tippy toes then!! OKAY off to ballet class!! LOVE YOU MORE! J

  6. You’re coming to PFO?!?!?!? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It will be so very good to see you!!! Just the thought makes me happy. 😀 OK—Is M taking a ballet class or are you? This is something I must know!

  7. I wish I could do you a ‘ug right now. I miss you. I feel pretty much on my own in most things, although J and I are very much together. I guess I feel pretty on my own in the “communication with supporters” department, which is woefully in need of improvements. And collectively, we feel very much on our own in prayer here. We held our very first prayer meeting for the beginning of Lent today, and no one came. We had a great time worshipping and praying, though.

  8. ‘Ugs would be very good about now. I’m sorry nobody came to prayer meeting today. That must be discouraging. I’m glad you and Jzahms went ahead with it anyway. I’ll bet as you look back on it (one day) it will feel like an even more special time. The communication stuff is hard. I REALLY like using mail chimp. It does eliminate the personal notes you write on your updates, but then you can do some of those at a more leisurely pace on other real mail. I highly recommend getting people to switch! Love you! Big, squishy ‘ugs!

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