I’m tired. I’m not completely sure why, but the fact of my fatigue is irrefutable. I didn’t expect this right now. We’re not in training. I haven’t been traveling. Nevertheless, I feel exhausted.
How do I know? I considered eating a box of Girl Scout Cookies for dinner. It was easier to keep working than it was to pack up and go home. The debate between McDonald’s and DiGiorno’s ended with the Girl Scout cookies winning. (In case you’re wondering, reason prevailed and the Tag Alongs lost out to spaghetti.) Tears mingled with frustration have been escaping randomly from my eyes since I got in the car. Those are just a few of the signs that I’m done in.
I crave rest. Not just physical rest. I don’t think I’m terribly short on that. OK, maybe a little. I crave the restful and the restorative. I want to go to the beach. I want to go horseback riding. I wouldn’t turn down horseback riding on the beach. I want the impossibility of my best friends all in one place with me instead of scattered to the four corners of the earth. I want my house magically cleaned and organized. I want to be imbued with whatever powers it takes to keep it that way.
I know some of those things won’t happen for months. I know others probably won’t happen on this side of eternity. So what’s a girl to do?
First of all, I’m going to continue to be intentional about getting to bed early. Well, at least earlier than I would left to my own devices. I’m going to make the most of my Friday off by spending time with a friend who’s coming to town for the day. Then I’m going to splurge on an overpriced cup of frou-frou coffee—maybe more than once. I’m going to face the pile of accumulated mail and whittle it down, but probably not until after the overpriced coffee is consumed. I’m going to spend some time with my red journal. I’m going to enjoy the easy companionship of my friend who’s staying with me right now. I’m going to eagerly anticipate the arrival of another friend later next week. I may even find some time to work on a scrapbook or make some cards.
I know I’m blessed. I know I have lots of things I can enjoy that recharge me right here. It takes intentionality. If I let my fatigue and lethargy rule, nothing will change.
I need a change.
Is there anything that’s keeping you from rest, refreshment, and recharging? If so, what are you going to do about it?
photo courtesy of Mike 138
Today I’ve joined the Faith Barista’s Faith Jam. Every week Bonnie’s asking other bloggers to “jam like musicians” on a faith and life related topic. This is my riff on “Craving rest and the journey to find it.” I’d love to read your thoughts on the topic. Please leave a comment or a link to your blog if you’ve jammed on this. And if you haven’t blogged on it, please leave some of your thoughts in the comment section below. If you’re interested in seeing what others had to say, please follow the link over to the Faith Barista site.
12 responses to “Tired and Craving”
So interesting that you post this today. I have been craving similar things. I too lament about the far-away-ness of friends and the impossible state of our house. The other day I had a mental picture (helped by the Holy Spirit, I think) of a little girl, just like Sara used to be, still is sometimes, being literally dragged along by the hand, kicking and screaming. Somehow, I knew this was for me, a message. God doesn’t want a little girl kicking and screaming. He wants me to get up and walk. (like in the passage we just studied in John 5) So, like you, I’m trying to choose walking, instead of whining and complaining and kicking and screaming (not that YOU’re doing any of those things, dear Soul). It’s not necessarily easy. I find I’m awfully hungry for simple, deep fellowship, the kind I really only have with a few good friends, like you. You know, conversations until midnight, talking about anything and everything, laughing until we cry. That sort of thing. Anyway, this is pretty perso for a comment, so I’ll stop there. Just know that I’m with you. Some kind of secret spiritual sisterhood. Or maybe that yesterday was Ash Wednesday.
The Secret Spiritual Sisterhood . . . I like that. Ash Wednesday may play into it, but I have a feeling it’s more than that. I’ve been playing with some ideas about friendship and depth and community—actually just trying to get them to sit still long enough to get a good look at them. Perhaps soon I’ll be able to write about them. Walking is hard—in every sense—some days. I know there are days when putting one foot in front of the other is more difficult than others. On the one hand it’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. On the other hand, I’m sorry anyone else feels this way—especially, you my dear Soul. I love you even from far away.
Oh, dear friend! I pray you find rest…really find rest. The best rest for my soul is a drive to Denver and time with one of my favorite people in one of my favorite corners of the world. Sarah and I are looking forward to some Sheryl time tomorrow : )
Ahhhhh—-I’m really looking forward to time with you tomorrow, too!
Never thought about this before, that it would be a sign of fatigue:
” It was easier to keep working than it was to pack up and go home. ”
Yeah, the difficulty in making change, even if the change would be for my benefit.
I know it is for me, Monica—when I’m fatigued, it’s easier to keep at something requiring little from my body and letting my mind stay in the same groove than it is to shift gears and make my body move. Thanks for stopping by!
Praying you do find rest soon. I’m always taken back by how much my soul rest and physical rest are related. Great post! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by and for praying for me, Amy. I really, really appreciate it. I’ve had a nice day—friends, journaling and coffee out of the house, some amazing cheese, and now a movie I’ve wanted to see. I know one day won’t restore me, but it’s a start.
Hi Sheryl, I was smiling hearing all the restful things you had planned – those frou-frou coffee drinks are sometimes how God makes us get into that special, restful mode. We are special in Him. I hope you have that restful re-fill of coffee, friends and just plain de-compressing!
Hey, Bonnie! Two frou-frou drinks in two days and a my own little bright pink rubber sleeve with a handle, some time with friends—new and not so new; planned and unplanned—made for a good few days off. I’m starting to feel better already. Now I just have to remember to make this part of my routine (I’m not good at routine) and keep working my way out of the fog of tiredness.
Oh, the way dear, dear friends can bring true rest to our souls! So much in here, including the recognition of those things that are self-indulgent and don’t bring rest (yep, I’ve gone the way of the Girl Scout cookie more times than I should) and finding those things that really are restorative. And getting to bed earlier really is a good idea for most of us! Thanks for stopping by my place. Enjoy your coffee! Blessings.
Friends are such a restorative bond. One of my dearest friends is here for a few days. We joke that we’re the same person in different bodies–it’s just good to be understood so well. I have a hard time separating self-indulgence and self-care. I’m learning, but it’s a long process. Thank you for stopping over here. It’s fun to jam with you!