Happy? Who Me?
I don’t tend to think of myself as a happy person. I don’t have a permanent smile. I’m not euphoric. My step isn’t perpetually bouncy.
As much as I like people, I believe we all have a sin nature. I’ve been known to question a motive or two. I’m not a pessimist, but I wouldn’t characterize myself as an optimist either.
Perhaps the name tag I’d choose would read, “Content.” I know things could be worse. I’ve lived through worse. I also know things could be better. I know my health could be better, my bank account could be fuller, my support level could be at 100%, and my plane tickets could all be first class.
I’m fully aware of the possibilities–in both directions. I’m also aware that I serve a sovereign God. He knows what I need. He knows what I can handle. He is my help–the one who sustains me (Psalm 54:4).
A few years ago when I was in the hospital with yet another bout of mystery illness, there wasn’t much I could do.Â There were moments when I thought, “Why is this happening to me?!”Â I decided I had a choice.Â I could wallow in self-pity or I could get up and do something.
The only physical activity I could engage in was walking around the hospital’s floor.Â I had a circuit down and tried to do more of them each day.Â Â The hospital is run by the Adventists.Â The hallways are lined with beautiful paintings paired with Scripture verses proclaiming God’s goodness and care.
As I shuffled through the halls, I chose a painting and its verse to focus on.Â I prayed that I would see the truth manifest in my life.Â I asked for the strength to keep going, to see the truth, to live it out for others.Â As I meditated and prayed, the “Why me’s?” disappeared and contentment settled.
There are days when I’m down.Â There are days when I’m elated.Â Most days I feel pretty steady.
I’m content, and I like it.
photo courtesy of lusi.
(I’m participating in Faith Barista’s Faith Jam.Â Every week she’s asking other bloggers to “jam like musicians” on a faith related topic.Â Today’s post is my riff on “How does your faith connect to your happiness?” If you’re interested in the notes others added to this Faith Jam, go check out her site and follow the links.)
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